We experience the triggers and the yearnings kick in. All it is - is that we go to excess.
Generally, it isn’t the physical item or thing we are addicted to, it is the feeling we are addicted to.
Some people think self-loathing is the basis for addiction.
My thoughts are; that whatever we are addicted to be it the wine, the biscuits, the sex or the new purchases, it felt good at one stage and our mind wants to repeat that. Stop discomfort, feels good – well that sounds optimum, doesn’t it.
I am hesitant to say we self loathe. It is an addiction and do we fully understand addiction? It is like these leaves in the image, different shapes, unusual colours, and distinctive patterns, all full of twists and turns entirely tangled up with each other and yet growing. Addiction is something on top of our core value, that solid blue background in the photo is the core of us and we can train that vine to grow the way we want.
There are so many schools of thought on how to treat addiction. That less than favourable label on us.
So what do we do about it?
The task is to get the addiction/feelings under control. We need “change buddies”, we need “tools” and perhaps changing our thinking will change our emotions and in turn change the outcome.
So give your “change buddies” (previous blog) warning that you are going to attempt to get some control and as to the tools - read, write, paint, gym, sports, swim, talk or hobbies, support groups - remove yourself from the toxic trigger situations, call out to “change buddies” for help, NLP, CBT, get a sponsor, seek out wellbeing groups, medical support, meditate, have small amounts of the addictive substance if appropriate, medical intervention - whatever works for you. It’s personal, tailor it to you.
Make decisions to make changes and complete a physical action to endorse the new style thinking - you really are not alone, even though it can feel like it. That Change Buddy is essential on holding your hand during this time. Be gentle on yourself and remember there is hope even though it doesn't feel like it, your Buddy will be your hope for the time-being.